365

I’m pleased to share with you that we are taking a NO CHEMO Summer Break! Our last scan at the end of May showed the same status as the previous ones, so there has been little change in the tumor size since we began chemo. However, Teresa’s tumor marker continues to decline. This month it was down to 75, which is great news. So Teresa will spend the summer not having to battle the side effects and have time for her body to begin to recover from the toxicity of the treatments.

Today (June 13) marks the one year mark on this journey of cancer. If you look at pancreatic cancer survival from the medical perspective, she is a walking miracle. If you look at it from a spiritual perspective, you fall on your face and thank Jesus for the gift of life.

So, it’s been 365 days. What have I learned? Teresa has her own thoughts and I will encourage her to share them with you soon.

My Jesus is all sufficient. From the first day battling fear and doubt to chemo treatments to dealing with side effects to hospital stays to demands of living life with this ever-present demon, I can tell you that HE is all sufficient. HE has sustained us spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially. Have I doubted? YES. Has HE ever NOT come through? NO!!!!

Family is invaluable. We would be wiped out without our immediate and extended family. They never cease to pray. They never cease to help without prompting. They have picked up Alfie from school while I was working and Teresa was not well. They have tutored him and did homework with him. They have helped transport. They have sat with Teresa during her 5-hour sessions of chemo. They have called and sent texts of encouragement. They have given us money to go to out-of-state doctors for second opinions. They have loved beyond measure.

The Church works in crisis. From the first week our church family rallied at our home to pray. They brought us meals. They checked on us. They always called when Teresa was down the most and lifted her spirits. They went out of their way, in spite of busy schedules, and ministered to us and our family. They truly acted out “When I was sick, you visited me”. There are hundreds, if not thousands, around the world that pray for us daily. I know because I get texts, emails and messages from them that tell me so. It’s overwhelming to know that so many intercede for you by name so often.

FRIENDS!!!! I cannot say enough about those we count as friends. They let us be real. They allowed us space to be down without judgment. They provided a safe place to vent without trying to fix it. They woke up in the middle of the night at the prompting of the Holy Spirit to pray for us. If we called out for help of any kind they responded immediately and extravagantly. Simply put, they helped us “bear our burden”.

My Bride. Teresa is the most amazing woman you will ever encounter. Jesus broke the mold after HE created her. She has the strongest spirit. Even at her worst, she never loses TRUST. She constantly declares the Goodness of Jesus in the midst of the sickness and the struggles. Is she ever down? Of course, she is human. But the “Power that raised Jesus from the dead” lives in her. She is more than a survivor. She is ALIVE and a CONQUEROR. I tell her often that she is MY HERO. She is so Brave, Courageous and Heroic. She picks me up much more that I do her. She makes me a better husband, dad, and follower of Jesus. She is my all. The testimony that is coming out of her life as she lives out her faith in the face of cancer is changing lives all over the world. I know her life has changed mine. I long for the day that she can be cancer free and continue to declare the goodness of God.

It’s been a long 365 days. I would not wish a similar experience on our worst enemies. However, HIS plan for our lives will come to fruition despite the cancer. HIS WORD says that no one can shut a door that HE has opened. I believe that. I trust that. You should too.

Baltimore ... Update from Johns Hopkins

We certainly felt each and every prayer today. We have been in a place of continual peace.

Everything went fine with the scan and the visit.

Dr. Zheng had not received a copy of Teresa's last scan so the visit was a bit incomplete but we will take care of that Monday.

Dr Zheng said that the tumor was slightly smaller than when he first saw her 9 months ago. But he wants to compare this can with the one we had a month ago.

His opinion was that since we continue to the tumor markers decrease that tells us the chemo is working. He thought was to continue the chemo protocol we have been using but at a reduced dosage and less frequently, three weeks apart instead of two.

He also said that he will contact the National Association of Health in Bethesda MD that is conducting clinical trials in immunotherapy and see if Teresa is a candidate for that.

So staying the course looks like the recommendation.

But as I said this morning, we are going to takes man's wisdom and ask the LORD about it. So pray that we get a clear answer from HIM.

And aren't you glad HIS ways always trump the natural.

And by the way, Teresa and I had a date night at Phillips Seafood Restaurant on the Inner Harbor. Great Food. Better company. If you're ever in downtown Baltimore, we certainly recommend it.

In Baltimore ... Status

We are in Baltimore MD this morning. No SNOW. Good for travel bad for the view.

We are having a CT scan at Johns Hopkins Medical Center at 1:30 ET followed by an appoint with Dr. Zheng at 3:30 ET.

Dr. Zheng is the physician that we saw early in our journey that recommended the chemo protocol that we used for the last 8 months.

While it was a very harsh treatment and the tumor doesn't appear to be any smaller, Teresa's tumor markers (which measure the activity of the tumor) has been dramatically reduced from 78,000+ to 200+. Positive things.

We reached a point after completing the last treatment about a month ago that Teresa needed a break from chemo. Our local oncologist agreed that we needed a break. She told Teresa that she had not expected her to be able to do 6 treatments of that protocol. Teresa did 15! Only Jesus.

So we've been off chemo about 5 weeks. Teresa is certainly feeling better without putting highly toxic poisons in her body. She is still struggling with extreme fatigue and numbness in her hands and feet but that should come back in about 6 months.

So now we are here asking for man's opinion as to what our next steps should be. We will take that info and take it to the LORD and see if HE agrees.

We are in a good place. We really are. No despair, no depression, little discouragement. Our heart is to see Teresa healed as a testimony to Jesus' goodness, HIS love and HIS power. Rev 12: We overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the WORD OF OUR TESTIMONY.

This is a good story. Not a fun story but a good one. It's a story that will draw people to Jesus. We just want a lot of time to tell a lot of people.

And so I believe …. (Scan # 2 Version)

When I started this blog I intended to update it often. I expected to find it therapeutic and for a few days it was. But then the grind of living life and trying to keep things normal just sapped the desire to write frequently. So here we are in November a full two months from my last post.

We had scan number two today. The results? We have reached a place of “stabilized disease”. Stable is good, right? It means the tumor has not grown any but neither has it shrunk. We are “stable”. Our doctor says that sometimes this is the best that can be achieved with metastatic pancreatic cancer. If I sound perturbed by that status you would be correct.

I have entered that state of faith in which I trust in what the LORD has told me. I truly heard him say “This is NOT unto death”. When I share that, I get a few different responses.

• Silence. What do you say to someone who has heard the LORD speak?
• “Are you sure that is what you heard?”
• “She is saved. Her soul lives forever with Jesus.”
• “She may not be healed in this life.”
• “I admire your faith.”
• “I wish I could believe like that.”
• Silence with the look that says “You’re crazy”.

But what should the response be when someone trusts in the WORD of the ONE who asks “Is there anything too hard for ME?” (Genesis18:14)

My answer is to simply believe. It’s not easy. It’s only because I know my Jesus that choose to NOT go running, screaming into the night. HE is the ONE who sacrificed his own life so I could supernaturally be spared my own. HE is the ONE who has supernaturally provided money when I have had none. HE is the ONE who supernaturally healed by daughter in ICU when she was 5 months old. HE is the ONE who supernaturally made a way for us to minister in Africa for 6 years. HE is the ONE who supernaturally led us to a sick, neglected 18-month old who is now our son. HE is the ONE who supernaturally conquered infertility to bring us our first granddaughter. HE is the ONE who supernaturally speaks through me every time I share HIS WORD. HE is the ONE who supernaturally calms my fears, dispels my anxiety, and soothes my heart.

So why wouldn’t I choose to believe HIM? If I allow the natural circumstances and “realities” of life to countermand HIS supernatural nature, what does that say about my faith in HIM? So I say “NO” to those things that want to mock HIS CHARACTER and say “YES” to HIS WORDS.

Is this journey any fun at all? Not really. Does this journey have any joy in it? Abundantly. I have the privilege of being able to testify to HIS NAME and HIS CHARACTER in the face of the whispered lies of the enemy. I have the privilege of choosing in word and action to stand for HIM as HE stood for me at Calvary. I have the privilege of allowing HIM to use my life as a proving ground for HIS NATURE. In that there is much joy accompanied by many tears. But I wouldn’t trade it for an existence without HIM. And so I believe. (Mark 5:36)

Scan Results and the way forward

Today (Friday August 24 2012), Dr Young shared with us the results of the CT Scan that was performed yesterday.

Teresa's tumor is smaller than the original scan. That is good news, certainly, from our original scan. Dr. Young was very pleased that things were moving in the right direction, especially since we have only had 4 rounds of chemo.

Teresa is still in Baptist Hospital receiving fluids and trying to get her digestive system back on track. We are to receive a different medication to help that along today and then tomorrow morning we will be discharged.

Our next round of chemo won't be until the day after Labor Day, which gives Teresa a much needed break. We will continue on the protocol that we have been following with a slight reduction in the dosage of the drug that is the source of our digestive issues.

Keep praying. This is good news but it is not the best news which is a complete healing from cancer!

Nothing is too hard for our Jesus and we are trusting simply in what He has told us.

We are going to celebrate Alfie's baptism on Sunday. It will be a great start to a great week.

We love you all and thank you for your prayers, your support, your food and your embodiment of the Spirit of Jesus.

A Scan and A Hospital Stay

I want to give everyone a quick update. Teresa finished her 4^th round of chemotherapy on Monday August 13, 2012. Our first follow up CT Scan was scheduled for Friday, August 24.

This past week the severe side effects from the chemo became chronic. Home health care came to the house on Tuesday (the 20^th) to administer IV fluids. On Wednesday (the 21^st), the side effects continued so Teresa was admitted to Baptist Hospital that morning.

She continues to receive fluids and the staff is working to get her system back in working order. Since we were already in the hospital, Teresa had her CT scan today (Thursday the 23^rd). We anticipate having the results of that test tomorrow.

Teresa is resting well and her spirits and her courage continue to be high, which is extremely normal for her. She is my hero.

I will try to post updates here as we get them.

Mixed Emotions

It’s been about 3 weeks since I have been able to post a blog. Sorry about the delay, it’s just been a busy time.

Someone described their journey through cancer as one big roller coaster and I couldn’t agree more. There are up days and down days. You can attempt to predict them but those are hit and miss as well.

Then there are the days of mixed blessings. This is one of those days. Today our 8-year old, Alfie, started 2^nd grade at Madison Station Elementary. After being home-schooled by Teresa for the last two years, we are so blessed to have a quality school with a quality teacher to continue his education. And at the same time, Teresa and I both feel that something special has been stolen from us. That may seem trivial to some of you but it’s a real burden for us. We trust that Jesus will protect him and that he will learn the right things, the good things. And I pray that the LORD will grant us peace as we release him.

As far as her treatments, overall, Teresa seems to be tolerating them. We have had one really lousy week but most of the others have been manageable.

The pain seems to be under control for the most part and that is a blessing, although she experiences 4 days of bone pain from an injection that helps boost her white cell production.

We will have one more treatment before we have an updated scan. I will try to keep you posted.

Thanks for following us. I know you take time out of your day to read these. I don’t have much in the way of a spiritual challenge or application, but some days you are just living out life with Him at your side. Some days that has to be enough.